CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT...

… Appropriate Resolutions™ for home, work, community, and everywhere in between.

© 1998-2008 Joseph Ravick  and Appropriate Resolutions™

 

“STEP 4: Plan on how to realize your relational goals” continued.

         The principles you will have satisfied through the previous statement will include demonstrated respect and collaborative intent. These often lead to the deal-maker. An overriding focus on the future (instead of the past) will move you closer to a preferred future.

 

      Then again, take a pause to let the new information and approach sink in.  If the other person doesn't respond, I would then ask, "How do you feel about this as a starting point?" Then give them as much time to answer without interruption as they need.

 

      Remember, people make decisions in their own time and at their own speed. What you don't want at this point is a 'knee-jerk' reaction so practice patience.

 

STEP 5:       Make your first objective to get an agreement on norms; about how you will talk to each other, listen to each other, consider what each has to say, and to NOT personalize any issues which come up between you. If the relationship has been normally conflictual, escalated, or dysfunctional with little or no positive progress, or if the negotiation looks like it will escalate, this step is critical to positive progress.

 

                      Remember however that none of us is perfect and an apology and/or forgiveness will go a long way towards building bridges if our human-ness gets (or has gotten) in the way.

         

STEP 6:       Begin the problem-solving process taking care to apply Step #1 or Step #5, and to return to step 5 (norms) if the process goes off the track. If you feel like escalating or see others become agitated (stressed, frustrated, or angry), tale a short break to allow the stress to diminish, then start from the beginning. Since you’ve reached another barrier in the way of a fair and collaborative resolution process, back to the basics will be the way to go.

 

      The choices are always ours; to fight or flight, to attack, or avoid.

     Those choices we make will always decide the future relationship we have with that person or group. So make the appropriate decisions. Then do whatever you can to generate outcomes which get you where you need to go to enhance your relationships.

Create and React…

 …the same letters … only the consequences are different.

And with creativity, you get resolution.  

 

         Building credibility and trust while maintaining a collaborative approach are the foundations of 'functional' negotiating.  Relationships endangered by differences will depend on effective and creative conflict management if they are to survive. That will mean effectively managing communications and emotions within the process!