Apologize don't rationalize

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Text Box: APOLOGIZE, DON’T RATIONALIZE An apology is not giving up power, it's about sharing power and building bridges.

When challenged with a difference between you and another, AND you want an ongoing and functional relationship, you have at least two choices about what to do next, each with a potential consequence.

OPTION 1:

YOU RATIONALIZE (&/or IGNORE) the other’s reaction and continue trying to convince them that your position, your preferred solution, is the right one.

THE CONSEQUENCE: The other will either ‘shut down’ or walk away, but not forget. Or, they will react by arguing their preferred solution; in either case, the resolution will not contribute to a future positive (working) relationship unless you break the cycle of escalation.

OPTION 2:

YOU APOLOGIZE with something like: “I sense that something I’ve said bothers you and I want you to know that I’m sorry. I don’t mean anything ‘bad’ and want to solve the problem so we can work (or live) together.”

THE CONSEQUENCE: You have created a bridge which will allow you both to collaboratively work out a mutually acceptable solution.

"If you do things well, do them better. Be daring, be first, be different, be just."

- ANITA RODDICK

Text Box: THE MAN IN THE GLASS When you get what you want in your struggle for self and the world makes you king for a day, just go to a mirror and look at yourself, and see what THAT man will say. For it isn't your father or mother or wife whose judgement upon you must pass; the fellow whose verdict counts most in your life is the one staring back from the glass. Some people may think you a straight-shootin' chum and call you a wonderful guy, but the man in the glass says you're only a bum if you can't look him straight in the eye. He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest, for he's with you clear up to the end; and you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test if the man in the glass is your friend. You may fool the whole world down the pathway of life and get pats on your back as you pass, but the final reward will be heartaches and tears if you've cheated the man in the glass. UNKNOWN