CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT...

… Appropriate Resolutions™ for home, work, community, and everywhere in between.

© 1998-2008 Joseph Ravick  and Appropriate Resolutions™

        When planning to resolve, people need to remind themselves

just how easy it is for communications to go sideways, downhill, off the rails

or awry (whichever you prefer).

          Humans are imperfect communicators. Sometimes such imperfections and the resulting misunderstandings generate conflict. So when a clash of interests (needs) or values challenges those communicating, conflict always becomes harder to solve. The main thing to consider here is how hard it is for individuals to communicate about complex matters. This becomes even more difficult when emotional issues create barriers to understanding and cooperation.

 

"You can't change anyone's behaviour except your own. 

When we change, however, the whole dynamic around the conflict also changes."

 

THE UNDERLYING CATALYSTS TO RESOLUTION,

OR ESCALATION (may be obvious or not, and ignored or not):

 

   Communications: what is heard and understood by those involved.

 

   Emotions: those feelings which sometimes make us (and others) 'crazy'. 

 

   Values: those critical beliefs which often motivate us to do what we believe "…we have to do…."

 

   Needs: what we believe we need for security, stability, respect, predictability or       ?      .

 

   Experience: forming our expectations based on situations, people-types, and/or relationships in the past.

 

   The Resolution Process: (&/or perceptions of…) how we try to resolve differences.

 

   Since people inevitably disagree one time or another about a preferred solution, emotions usually begin to percolate. Then, as opposition increases, anger grows as do frustrations. Continuing refusals to accept or even see another’s point of view on a subject leads to arguments aimed at convincing the opposition to accept of our "logical and just" solution. As the arguing escalates, given that it rarely convinces anyone of anything, tempers escalate, angry behaviour is experienced, then meltdown, or a total (perceived) dis-connect from the resolution process (when other's power appears insurmountable).

 

Being effectively pro-active requires

knowing what to generally expect given certain dynamics.

Escalation described.

...more on communicating...