CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT...

… Appropriate Resolutions™ for home, work, community, and everywhere in between.

© 1998-2008 Joseph Ravick  and Appropriate Resolutions™

    So you want to resolve conflicts more effectively and you're sincere and committed to such a 'mission'. Assuming that your bottom line is to build and maintain relationships in the face of conflict, three missions you need to consider are:

þ Learning how to resolve; the skills

þ Learning about yourself when ‘in conflict’: self knowledge

þ Preparing to succeed: planning to realize your bottom line. 

A self-analysis...

      If you’ve decided that you need to change the outcomes you’ve experienced when challenged with differences, with conflicts, I urge you to consider answering the following questions:

 

o Can you combine and balance tenacity with tact? Have you in the past?

o Can you assertively present your needs without trying to 'force' your views? Can you stand up for yourself without trying to dominate the other person? What has been your pattern when challenged in the past?

o Can you remain flexible and assertive? Do you and have you, normally?

o Can you separate the issues, the differences between you, from the person or people? How have you viewed those who have disagreed with you in the past?

o Can you explore alternative options without thinking or feeling that you're giving in? Is this what you normally do when you differ with someone? What been your normal reaction in the past?          

 

      These questions are really about your dominant behaviour when challenged by conflictual situations. They reflect the do's and don'ts similar to those proposed by Fisher and Ury of The Harvard Negotiation Project. When we reflect on our answers, honestly, they provide us with indicators about how to better manage the confusing and often debilitating effects of conflicting human impulses, or compulsions. So the most important thing we learn from our ‘considered’ answers is ‘what we don’t know’ and what we need to learn if we want to become more competent at collaboratively solving conflicts. How competent do you believe you are when it comes to resolving conflicts while maintaining functioning relationships?  Where would you place yourself on the learning continuum after reviewing past and current relationships, in effect your past experiences. You will need to confirm one key element to your competency development first; self-honesty!  Remember, “reality IS the bottom line.”                                                   More about how we learn...

 

Wisdom is not a product of schooling

but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it. -ALBERT EINSTEIN