CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT...

… Appropriate Resolutions™ for home, work, community, and everywhere in between.

© 1998-2008 Joseph Ravick  and Appropriate Resolutions™

WHY WON'T THEY JUST SPEAK UP?

 

       Bill was frustrated to the point of tearing his hair out, if he hadn't already lost it years ago. His problem was that he just couldn't understand why his seven colleagues on the Board of Directors wouldn't give him the help he needed. They even refused to debate about what to do or how to do it. "Didn't they understand the crisis staring them in the face?"

 

      A passionate, committed, and high-powered successful CEO, Bill had only recently accepted that his colleagues were holding back from actively participating in decision-making about how to manage their organization. No matter what he said or how much he tried, it made little difference. Was it that ultimately, they didn’t really care. On the other hand, if it was a personality thing, any one of them, or all if it came to that, could easily resign. It had to be something else. Bill was a leader who was consistent in his belief that if something didn’t make sense to him, he was obviously missing relevant information.

 

      Then one fine day, thanks to his assertive VP, Catherine, the missing piece was uncovered.  He could almost feel his blood pressure going up the scale as he heard the hard truth. "Your passionate style inhibits Board members from participating" was Catherine's first reaction as he described his frustrations. "It's become about you, not about what you're saying," she continued in a tight voice, avoiding his eyes. "Your style, your powerful voice and intellect often frighten us away from even questioning you. No matter how many times you say you need our input and feedback, your messages say something very different to us. I understand that its passion not anger which motivates you, but even I have to back away from you sometimes. So just give people a break and you'll see the difference."

 

        Bill later told me that Catherine's guidance helped him see what changes were needed. In fact he changed how and what he communicated, and soon, so did his Board members. He also continually confirmed that the signals he was sending were those received; Bill and his organization then reaped the benefits.

      Think about the conflicts in your life which haven't, or aren't going in the direction you want them to. Ask yourself if it is MIS-COMMUNICATIONS which contributed) to your realities, then do what needs to be done.