CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT...

… Appropriate Resolutions™ for home, work, community, and everywhere in between.

© 1998-2008 Joseph Ravick  and Appropriate Resolutions™

   John and Karen hadn't really communicated meaningfully in months if not years. This was Karen’s view as she mulled over her frustrations with John’s apparent inability, or refusal to talk about anything other than the weather, work issues, and their children’s needs. It seemed to her that whenever SHE attempted to broach any subjects sensitive to John, he withdrew into his shell, looking for safety like the turtle he had become. At least in her eyes.

 

   Unfortunately for them, this had become John’s reaction to subjects like how much quality time they spent alone with each other, how they handled differences, and of special importance to Karen, their rapidly diminishing sex life. This last issue had become the monster which threatened to destroy the relationship given how rarely they demonstrated their love for each other to each other. And to make a bad situation worse, she became triggered each time something came up which wasn’t resolved. She knew her anger and frustration was not helping, but she didn't know what to do.

 

    Karen and John had never even considered that the issue was ‘relational maintenance’. After all, “Their extremely busy lives left them little time for anything but their scheduled and prioritized responsibilities.” John and Karen, like many other couples I’ve seen and spoken to were coasting down that rut towards the ocean of relational dissolution commonly labelled as break-up, separation, and divorce. It wasn't that they didn’t care; at least not in the beginning when they were madly and passionately in love. But soon life took over with two children to ferry and shepherd around, their increasingly busy work lives, etc., etc., etc.

  

The choice is yours;

maintain your relationships or pay the costs of break-down!

 

     Relationships are like most things, they require regular maintenance. Obviously business and personal relations look different (mostly), yet maintaining them is a common need for both. We know that the ’machinery’ of life, your body, mind and soul, need sustenance and maintenance.

 

     So why would you think that your important relationships deserve any less. Like that metaphorical car which has never been tuned or maintained,  a relationship which 'knocks', clunks, or 'grinds' will probably break down, sooner rather than later.

 

    If problems, speed-bumps, and other catalysts to break-down are ignored, your relationship will no doubt soon begin spewing ‘black smoke’.

 

    Have those difficult conversations or it will cost you more later… emotionally, physically, and without doubt, financially.

 

Negotiate your relational maintenance schedule sooner not later; 

but only if you care for the long term.