CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT...

… Appropriate Resolutions™ for home, work, community, and everywhere in between.

© 1998-2008 Joseph Ravick  and Appropriate Resolutions™

     “I will support you during this transition,” said the General Manager.  Bonny breathed a huge sigh of relief as her boss gave her that ironclad assurance; or that’s what she thought. Up to that point, with all the changes happening around the office, she had worried and agonized that her job was on the line. With his statement, she now believed that she would be ok, no matter what.

 

     That is what she heard… and believed; then. However, two months later, after three more meetings with her supervisor about performance issues, she was called in and informed that her progress was unsatisfactory and that unfortunately, they had no choice but to replace her with someone who could do the job. In effect, she was being laid off. She was shocked, surprised, and devastated. After all, her boss had said that he would support her.

 

     Was she misled? Or did she assume what he meant, hearing and understanding what she needed for her own peace of mind? 

 

     Communication is how we share ideas, thoughts and meaning. Problems only arise because words mean different things to different people, Add to that the ever-changing complexities around communicating and receiving communications. We know how ‘moods’ affect how we interpret words and when we add voice, facial expressions, and body posture to the mix, we often can only assume what is meant. I remember one student walking into his first class one day. His aggressive almost angry ‘look’ and manner could have meant that I, as his learning facilitator had a job and a half ahead of me. Boy would I have been wrong had I assumed the worst. As it turned out, Geoff was one of our most committed learners and contributed greatly to all of our learning experiences.  

 

     When we speak,

þ We send a message based on what we intend another to hear.

þ The listener receives our message which is filtered through their perceptions of what we have said and any other assumptions or expectations or experiences which are important to them. In effect they hear and filter our words through their individual view of the world and their place in it.

þ Likewise, we interpret their words or "feedback."

      If anything depends on what you’re communicating, or hearing, check out the meanings and intent. Resolutions will depend on what’s understood by those involved.

 

 

Conflict Management and Escalation Reduction is... 

a matter of recognizing the dynamics which point to conflict,

then strategically applying the tools to manage those dynamics.