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CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT... … Appropriate Resolutions™ for home, work, community, and everywhere in between. |
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© 1998-2008 Joseph Ravick and Appropriate Resolutions™ |
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Conflict Quote for your life… (for men but not always) Thanks to Anna Parker from Victoria, Canada. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. A woman multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.' So - if you give her any crap, you will get a bucket-full of @%&!??! in return ... |
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At the next mediation session, I began by asking for their thoughts and feelings about the questions I had left with them. Both wanted apologies for past behaviours, among other things, and neither was prepared to leave her highly paid and exciting job. Each had also, for the first time, written down what she needed to move forward to an alternative and more functional relationship. It was the break-through I was hoping for.
During the final two sessions, they agreed to a list of explicit norms, explained and understood. How they intended to communicate, what respectful behaviour needed to look like, how they would problem-solve, and finally, how they would resolve differences were the commitments both made to transform their workplace realities. Although neither was ready to apologize, both stated that they were sorry for any hurt and pain experienced by the other, and by the team. Feedback two years later from the department's Director confirmed that although tense moments did occur from time to time, especially early on, none escalated to pre-mediation levels. And all it took was some facilitated bottom-line reality-checking plus Janet and Agnes "taking responsibility" for the consequences of their actions. |
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For more about life, conflicts and relationships in an entertaining format, check out The Resolver… a free, no-obligation, monthly e-journal. |