CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT...

… Appropriate Resolutions™ for home, work, community, and everywhere in between.

© 1998-2008 Joseph Ravick  and Appropriate Resolutions™

INTERESTS and VALUES…

 

Our triggers and motivators, moving us towards resolution or escalation. 

          Often, our feelings of satisfaction, or frustration are triggered by whether we feel our needs are threatened or secure.

Such motivators may include:

 

þ Situational needs (interests) relative to what is happening to, or around us, in the moment, and/or

þ basic needs which we feel are necessary for our physical, emotional, and/or psychological survival (or satisfaction), and/or

þ fundamental values which are important, or critical, and in which we believe to a greater or lesser extent, depending on the issue.

       Although values and interests are different for all of us in both substance and relative importance, they have something in common. When threatened, we all will react or respond. Our difficulty seems to stem from the fact that we each place different levels of importance on each.  And as we know from history, past and present, values are often non-negotiable to their owners who are striving for acceptance and understanding.

       INTERESTS… include hopes, fears, beliefs and values, expectations, concerns, and any other needs people have, or believe they have. Their interests have to be relatively satisfied, or at least considered, acknowledged and validated if any agreement is to be satisfactory and lasting. When people perceive that they’re threatened, or ignored, they will do whatever they feel they must to alleviate or at least protect themselves against such threats. 

       VALUES… also known as fundamental needs, are even more basic to an individual's motivation. Understanding values and their impact will suggest clues to underlying interests people might feel are being threatened.  Furthermore, being aware of the values YOU live by will help you to identify commonalities between yourself and anybody with whom you are negotiating. This will be one way to build a bridge supporting the relationship through understanding and collaboration. Your values, and whether they are ‘fulfilled’, most often will also influence whether YOU are satisfied with your life or not. The link at the end of this paragraph will take you to lists of  interests and values. Reflect on which of these, or others, have SIGNIFICANT meaning for you. These will be your triggers whenever they are threatened. The more important each is perceived by you, the greater effect a threat to them will have on you.                                                                                                     

 

 

Reflect on past situations with both positive and negative outcomes. Then hunch which ‘needs’ or values, your or theirs, were catalysts to escalation, or de-escalation.

More about “triggers”...