CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT...

… Appropriate Resolutions™ for home, work, community, and everywhere in between.

© 1998-2008 Joseph Ravick  and Appropriate Resolutions™

   My feedback to Beth questioned the source of the problems, whether there were value-based biases operating in the background, and what options she saw for resolution.

   The only option she saw at that moment of escalation was the "…waste of time…" comment. Fortunately for Beth, this was an emotional reaction. I knew if I waited the penny would drop and so it did. Beth’s intuitive sense, enhanced by her knowledge and skills, ultimately motivated her to negotiate collaboratively. This meant working hard to jointly build a bridge between them. In fact, the essential conversation with her colleague did just that. They first had a constructive conversation about a potential future and agreed to put their history behind them. Several days later they had the 'difficult conversation' about how to transform their relationship. Beth, confirming that she cared enough, knew instinctively that her efforts would be effective and she was right.

 

DEFINING “VALUES” 

   Values represent basic convictions that "a specific way to behave,” a mode of conduct, is acceptable while another may not be. As we know from almost any daily newspaper and news program, values contain judgmental elements in that they carry an individual's or group's ideas as to what is right, good, or desirable.

 

    When people make such determinations, and give the listener the impression that they either accept or reject another’s perspectives, they will also generate a collaborative or combative environment depending on whether the listener takes the judgement ‘personally’. When in conflict, judgements which are perceived as criticism, or worse, will put any the relationship at risk.

 

WHY ARE VALUES IMPORTANT IN THE CONTEXT OF CONFLICT, RELATIONSHIP, and NEGOTIATING AGREEMENT?

   Understanding and acknowledging the other’s values will help you to identify a person's underlying situational needs, also labelled interests.

 

Furthermore, when you experience differences, clarifying the values and interests will often generate a more collaborative negotiation. B

 

    By focussing on common values, a relational focus can become the basis for collaboration and hopefully in time, agreement.  

 

 

Building credibility and trust while maintaining a collaborative approach,

are the foundations of 'functional' negotiating.

 

Relationships threatened by differences will depend on effective conflict management, basically on managing the interpersonal dynamics

within the resolution process!

...more about values...