CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT...

… Appropriate Resolutions™ for home, work, community, and everywhere in between.

© 1998-2008 Joseph Ravick  and Appropriate Resolutions™

         When it comes to managing relationships by resolving conflicts and disputes, some important components which may determine outcomes include:

þ Understanding your own values and the priority they represent to you;

þ understanding how those values affect your reactions when challenged;

þ hunching what 'threatened' values might be escalating the other person);

þ hunching the common values which both (or all) of you share;

þ hunching the interests and needs which flow from the value systems in place for both of you.

             

   Much has been written and taught about the impact of threatened interests and needs. What is important to understand is that those needs/interests are fundamentally dictated by the values held to be important by each and every one of us.

 

THE BOTTOM LINE

      When you’re challenged with a situation involving differences between people, and if those involved in any resolution process don’t begin by focussing on what ‘values’ they have in common, reaching agreement will prove to be more difficult than it needs to be, if not impossible in some cases. Outcomes will depend on the importance of the threatened personal or professional values as demonstrated and communicated by those involved. Key to reaching understanding will by the HOT keys: Honesty, Openness, and Transparency. Try them and see what you get. Hopefully, you’ll contribute to a preferred outcome.

 

 

REFLECTIVE EXERCISE: Identifying and Prioritizing Your Values

    Below you will see a chart with instrumental (tied to outcomes) values in green and fundamental/intrinsic (tied to beliefs) values in red. Rank those values which have the highest priority for you from 1 to 3, with  ‘1’ being critical and potentially triggering when threatened. It is expected that there will be more than one of each and there are no right or wrong answers. Also, add others if you discover them as you think back to historical conflicts in your life, whether they were resolved satisfactorily or not. You will achieve additional insight regardless of whether the outcomes were pleasing or not.